Today was "THE DAY".

Noah started kindergarten today. I had so many mixed feelings about it. I was excited for him, but I was also nervous and apprehensive. I wasn't ready. I mean, we were ready in the sense that we had all his school supplies ready to go by the door, his uniform was laid out for him to put on in the morning, he was registered and we had gone to his classroom yesterday to meet his teacher... but I was not ready. I think it may be a little harder if you're a stay-at-home mom. He's with me all day long. I know how he's feeling and acting throughout the day. I know his schedule- because I made it. I know if he's tired, hungry, bored, happy, etc. But, today I had to let go. He will now be in someone else's care Monday-Friday 7:45-2:50...and it just hurts my heart. It may have been easier if Noah was the "outgoing type"...he's just not. He's painfully shy in new situations and tends to shut down when he's nervous or scared. And his brother, his security, his best friend could not go with him. So, yeah, I was nervous. Not to mention sleep deprived. Poor Nicholas started getting a virus yesterday. He was congested and started running a fever. I was up with him from 3:00-4-something and then he was back up at 5:30. Also, Nate came into our room around 12:30 and Noah got into bed with us around 5:00...let's just say not a lot of sleeping was going on in the Barnett house early this morning. So, I'm stressed out because my baby is sick, sleep deprived and heart broken because Noah is starting kindergarten...talk about stress city. But, as Josh said -"It's not more than we can handle" and through prayer and support from others..it wasn't.

Thankfully our wonderful friend/neighbor watched Nathanael and Nicholas while I took my big boy to school. Normally Josh would take him (since he works there), but I wanted to take him the first day and bring his school supplies. On the way to school, he was quiet in the car. I told him things to expect and how proud I was of him and that he was going to do great. When we got there, I parked and put his back pack on his back for him. I carried the rest of his school supplies (which was everything but the kitchen sink). We arrived and I could not believe that I had forgotten my camera. Not going to win "Mom of the Year" for that one. :(  I blame my stressed out/sleep deprived mind. Thankfully I took a few pictures with my cell phone. The pictures truly capture how nervous he was. He was so quiet when we walked in. He sat in his little seat and he looked like a baby to me. I felt like I saw the room through his eyes. It looked like there were 50 kids in the room and the girl sitting beside him had to have been at least 8 years old. Wait a minute?? I thought this was kindergarten??? I wanted to scoop him up in my arms and run out of the room and take him home. But, I had to be a big girl and let my baby stay. :( He didn't cry...I didn't cry (then). I told him good-bye, gave him a hug and said I would see him later.

I picked him up around 11:00 (it was only a half-day today). He seemed okay. He looked like his eyes were a little watery (I was so worried he'd been crying), but he was okay. He had made it. I asked him about his day and he was quiet, but was positive about it. I think he was really tired. I called Josh and asked him to ask his teacher how he did. Josh did and said that his teacher said he did good! He was a good listener, but was shy. It will just take him a little while to get used to everything.

After a nap and a trip to the shoe store to buy some new tennis shoes for school, he was in much better spirits. At dinner he was much more talkative about school. He told me about his friend, "the other Noah" who was nice to him. That made me smile. He also told me about "Chef Joe" (the chef for the cafeteria) who gave them chips. He actually seemed excited about school. It made me feel so much better! I really want him to enjoy school (I guess every parent does).

So, it's going to be okay. I'll have to let him go someday and this is a small BIG step towards that. He's growing up and I am so proud of him. My big boy is in Kindergarten!!